When it comes to eating vegetables, Jim Gaffigan prefers 'fake' ones

Jim Gaffigan is a comedian who loves to eat -- except for vegetables. "Generally I'm not a fan," he says. Food figures large in his latest book, Food: A Love Story. 

Sunday dinners growing up: 'I just wanted McDonald's'

Lynne Rossetto Kasper: A lot of your comedy is based on food. Do you come from a family of eaters?

Food: A Love Story

Jim Gaffigan: I come from a large family, so there was definitely an element of competing for food. The environment informed me that I should eat it immediately before someone else got it. I'm the youngest of six, so it was eat it whether you're hungry or not. I think that stayed with me.

LRK: What were holidays like at your house when you were a kid?

JG: Holidays were very important; probably the most important was Thanksgiving.

But a big thing in our family was Sunday dinner. (Probably the peak of Sunday dinner would be Thanksgiving.) It always took place at the dining table in our living room. My dad was a banker, so there was always some formality -- maybe not a tie, but there were definitely itchy clothes that had to occur. There was my mom's wedding china that for some reason couldn't be put in the dishwasher. I think it had to be cleaned with a kitten. Just very ornate, complex things.

My mom would pull off interesting meals, but to my 8-year-old palate, I just wanted McDonald's. Sunday dinner or holidays, they were always a big event with cloth napkins and my dad smoking right next to me while I was trying to eat. It was an interesting thing.

The conversations at Sunday dinner, at Thanksgiving or at family gatherings coming from a big family were really instrumental in me learning and gaining perspective on life. I remember being 10 and my father asking me about my views on Vietnam. The Vietnam War had been over, I knew it was a country, but that was about it. There was definitely an element of being thrown into the fire at those family dinners.

His current food obsession: 'I've grown to love steak'

LRK: A lot of us can relate to family meals like that. What's your relationship with food like now? Do you have any particular food obsessions?

JG: I go through different obsessions. I would say my recent one is probably steak.

When I was growing up, my father loved steak. He would make an announcement that we were going to have steak in a way that would make you assume that Abraham Lincoln was coming over for dinner. He would be like, "We're going to have steak." Me and my brothers would be like, "Who cares?"

He would cook it on the grill. He would go in the back of our backyard area in the pitch darkness after he had asked one of his kids to light the grill, where we almost died lighting it. He would cook the steaks, usually burn them. There would be cigarette ashes on them as we ate. But just a flavor of it -- it's not like it was a mess.

Now at my age, I've grown to love steak. The steak experience is something that I get. I didn't understand it as a kid. Now I love going to a steakhouse. I love the way they're darkly lit. The waiters are no-nonsense: "You getting a steak? You want a steak?" I'm like, "Yes, ma’am, I want a steak." I love every element of a steakhouse.

There's something strange about the rituals in a steakhouse. I love when they wheel out the raw cuts of meat and they thrust the raw pieces of meat at the table. They're like, "You can get this, and you can get this." Men are so visual. We drool and go, "Yeah, that one, that one." I love all those elements of steak. That's my fascination right now.

Jim Gaffigan Food Geography (Find a larger image here)

Eating at home: 'I do my best to pretend to like all the healthy food'

LRK: You have five kids at home. What do they eat? What's food like at your house?

JG: I have five kids. I haven't talked to my wife in an hour, so there could be more. There are a lot.

Our oldest is 10 and our youngest is 2, so there are different levels of eating occurring. Sometimes the 2-year-old doesn't even reach his mouth with some of the eating. But I would say my wife is a very positive influence. There are no Hot Pockets being served. It's very much a lot of green vegetables. I do my best to pretend to like all the healthy food.

But I would say that it's scary because I am somebody who enjoys eating, and I'll see it sometimes in my children. But when they're young, their behavior can change every 3 months. So just when I'm worried that some kid is going to have my unhealthy love of eating, 3 months later they won't eat anything at dinner because they’re just not interested.

LRK: How do vegetables go over at your house?

JG: Vegetables in general? People don't like them. When you go to someone's party and there's a vegetable plate, there's always a part of us that's like, "Oh wow, that's a waste of money. That'll just be tossed out." That's not going to compete with guacamole and chips or anything. Crudités is just French for "throwaway in a couple hours."

Vegetables in general -- I don't mean the fake vegetables, potatoes and corn, which are actually enjoyable -- there's such an effort that has to go into making a vegetable delicious. The amount of olive oil, butter or salt that you need to add to broccoli I think is amazing. Now that being said, I live in New York City. When I do go to California, I am impressed that vegetables actually have flavor.

But generally I'm not a fan of vegetables. I just view a cucumber as a pickle before it started drinking. There are just different vegetables that once you add salt, vinegar or some form of dairy, they're impressive. But without them, they're relatively worthless.